Pastoring Your Teenagers

Redeemer Youth Parents,

As I took Honey to school this morning I forgot something. I forgot to pray. 

Each morning during the 8 minute drive, when we hit Holden Rd, we turn the music off and pray together. But not today, I was in a hurry and even asked her if she could walk in to school by herself so I could get to a meeting. The look I saw in the rearview mirror made it clear I'd broken her heart by even asking. 

As we hurried up the stairs at Mt. Pisgah Preschool it hit me, "Honey, we didn't pray!"  "Oh yeah dad, we didn't, did we?"  I paused, put my phone in my pocket, set her book bag on the ground, and laid both my hands on her head. It was a holy moment in a stairwell. It was the most important thing I did all day. Way more important then the meeting for which I was 10 minutes late. 

Last week over our 10th anniversary dinner I told Natalie that I so desire to pastor our family in a more intentional way than I have over the last 10 years. I can't tell you how many times I've 'forgotten to pray' with them, been too rushed to 'read the Bible with them,' been too tired to show them the patience the Lord has shown me. 

I know being a parent is hard and can't even imagine what's coming in 8 years when Honey becomes a teenager. The Lord has been stirring in me an unsettled feeling about traditional youth ministry since the fall of 2012. One of those stirrings is that my time is better spent helping you pastor your kids than me attempting to pastor them. 

I read this article on the Huffington Post this week and it confirmed those thoughts. You have way more influence on your kids than I will ever have. My hope is to use this Redeemer Youth Blog as a place to encourage you as you parent. Please know that it's not ever going to be my soapbox. Any 'advice' I ever post on here is just coming from one blind beggar trying to help another find food.  The food I found today was simply a reminder of the sweet privilege the Lord has given us to pray for and with our kids.

I wouldn't suggest doing it in your teenager's middle school stairwell, but how about on the ride to school tomorrow? While sitting on their bed tonight? Ask them if you can lay your hands on them and pray for them. They might act like they hate it, but how amazing would it have been if your parents had done that for you? Maybe they did.  Maybe that's why you're even walking with Jesus today. Let's be a church of parents who daily pray for AND WITH their children.

-Drew