As my children are getting older, I'm finding myself wanting to be with them more. The little things that seemed taxing and tiring, now seem like an honor I get to do. As the years grow shorter, it feels like it's slipping out of my hands faster than I know what to do.
The other night, as one of my children was heading to bed, I asked them to wait for me. They questioned why I was asking them such a thing. I told them I was coming to tuck them in, like always. And, their reply caught me off guard, and sent my heart to my throat.
They told me, "You don't need to tuck me in anymore. None of my friends get tucked into bed at night. It isn't necessary. You can simply say goodnight."
They told me, "You don't need to tuck me in anymore. None of my friends get tucked into bed at night. It isn't necessary. You can simply say goodnight."
I felt shaken inside. After sitting with it a moment, I chose to not respond out of rejection, but instead wondered at this need in my own heart. And, soon I found an answer.
I started up the stairs to continue my pursuit of our normal bedtime routine. And, when I arrived, I simply said, "Me coming to tuck you into bed isn't just for you. Being able to tuck you in every night, it's for me too."
It's easy sometimes to feel insulted and to let our kiddos push us away. To wear our rejection as a sort of merit badge of teen parenting, allowing our jagged edges to jab back at them when they lash out. But, I've wondered recently, what if their "pushing us away" isn't so much an attack on who we are, but more of an announcement of their accomplishment?
What if they're simply trying to show us that they can do this thing called life that we've trained them how to do. Trying to show they can (almost) be independent. That they can (almost) enter adulthood. I think so much of the time, they just want to show us that they have (almost) arrived. And, honestly, isn't that exactly what we want? To have raised wise, independent people that can bear their responsibilities, manage their lives and fulfill their purpose, trusting God to lead the way?
If they're simply wanting to make us aware of how far they've come, how can we applaud where they are? How can we celebrate their successes, yet gently remind them we need them to still allow us to be their parent. Because that is who we are. That is what we've been called to do. Even if just for a little while longer.
What if they're simply trying to show us that they can do this thing called life that we've trained them how to do. Trying to show they can (almost) be independent. That they can (almost) enter adulthood. I think so much of the time, they just want to show us that they have (almost) arrived. And, honestly, isn't that exactly what we want? To have raised wise, independent people that can bear their responsibilities, manage their lives and fulfill their purpose, trusting God to lead the way?
If they're simply wanting to make us aware of how far they've come, how can we applaud where they are? How can we celebrate their successes, yet gently remind them we need them to still allow us to be their parent. Because that is who we are. That is what we've been called to do. Even if just for a little while longer.
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